I have just closed the pages of the book: “A secret meeting in Rome”, the last pages still refraining through my mind. I reach out to hold on to the moment of the thoughts and feelings that rushes through my mind. I hope in this entry that I will capture something of the essence of the significance that permeates my being. I do not really car if what is written by me is understood of misunderstood…I hope to capture something so that I can later recapture again the peculiar combination of insight and feeling that surrounds me like a cloud. The spirit of the author vibrates still within me and yet, it is not his spirit by my own …animated by his words.

I drew the Hanged man on the Tuesday when I received the book as a casual gift. This morning I see differently. I see things that I have not seen before. So many lines spun into my life is suddenly pointing towards a conjuncture of coming together. Am I plotting my own course through this world or is it guided by forces beyond me? What role has my intuition played in this and what role did my intelligence played in this. Despite apparent success I have always seen my lack of financial wealth and a lack of professional depth as a failure on my part. But now I look back and see it was sufficient for if I had more success my attention would have been detracted from the path I had to follow. If in either I had tasted more success the taste of it would have taken me on a side walk which would have thwarted my life path into a side path that would take many more reincarnations to correct. I sometimes wondered about this struggle within me between being in the world as an Industrial Engineer developing information systems and my mystical world of searching for meaning beyond the world of the apparent. I asked myself why am I not a pastor or a preacher so that I could have dedicated my life to my spiritual quest. Even that path would have distracted me from the real purpose of finding unity within the dyadic world I inhabit.

In one fleeting moment so many of the paths I followed, my lines of thinking, the views that formed and shaped my mind has pointed to one conjecture where all is meeting. From the time I started blogging on Xanga, I already had the archetypes of Wizard and Warrior, I wrote about it…the Wizard bringing the zeal and the warrior the life with the stability of 4 cardinal points in the centre. I chose the handle Zeal4Living with its 11 characters and within it I locked up a deep meaning. Now after almost nine years I see where these two archetypes have led me. The seven pointed star of Riggh which I have received at the age of ten suddenly has a new meaning within my life. I know where my journey started but now for the first time I have a more complete view of where I am heading.

Will I reach in this life that point where all these sparks of light is pointing me towards or is this life just a preparation, a stepping stone of what is to come. When I cast my view back across the footsteps I have left behind I begin to sense with urgency that it is not individual steps but a pathway I had chosen to walk. The picture of how all will combine into a moment of bifurcation is still unclear to me. I can not see in my mind’s eye the apex of this life and where it will lead. Maybe it is just to be an influential leader to the twenty or so people that has walked with me in the last year… I sense there is more. It is a sense of mission that I carried with me since that time of my tenth birthday.

I was initiated into the path I was about to travel. One part of the puzzle still remains unsolved. Why was I initiated onto the path by a black man from Africa. All my traditions point back to a western esoteric path, western karmic patterns and western thought…and yet I was not put on my path by any of those. I was put on my path by a humble black man without name and without any possession except the warmth of a fire in the winter. I can see how so many things has guided me along my path to find myself at this present moment of being since that one day. I remember that I was told that I will die at the age of forty… at my initiation. It was always a point of concern in my youthful mind because I confused it with a real and actual death of the body. Now I can see that I joined my fraternity of brothers and sisters at the age of forty…shortly after my birthday. The forty years before was a walk in the desert, preparing me to learn and to see.

These mentioned are but singular threads that are suddenly no longer loose threads but part of a tapestry with a pattern. Before I joined the fraternity my other point of transformation was in 1996 when I traveled to see Saul Kuchinsky to be initiated by him on an earlier path of inner growth. The preparation for that path happened a long time before that…but it was in 1996 that I unknowingly opened myself up to be guided across the threshold of my personal history and mythology. It was not an epitome of revelation but it marked such a change that whenever I look back, I can see that point as a point when a different grade of light entered into my inner being. It was nine years before my joining of the fraternity.

There are books that has slowly opened up a way for me…meeting me when I was ready to perceive the message. The first probably the book by Saul Kuchinsky. I often wonder if he knew what he did for me and whether the role he played was ever one of conscious awareness. Some were children books without apparent content that made a profound impact, not due to its content but due to the treasure of hope and promise it fixated in my mind. Later I found more direct guidance in books from the strangest origins. Seldom was it a book from that has sold millions of copies….most of the time it would be an obscure book in the corner of a second hand book shop to be discarded by most as useless. Yet in what is useless I have often discovered the most value for my own inner being.

I can see in every step of the way a guiding force that has lead me gently….through tough times as well as good times with consistency. Even at times I felt lost there was a flame in the sky that lead Israel through the desert that remained with me. I blogged over the years about some moments that stood out…at times in the form of a poem and at others merely as a question still unanswered. There is Cosmic guidance for all but it also requires some level of intuition to be open for that guidance. It requires some level of a burning need within that is fueled by cosmic guidance. When the moment come to hear the answer one must have the inner ear to hear the voice of conscience. If only I remain truthful to my own path that was given to me, I will have a significant life. I would like to see my life bearing the fruit of a legacy left behind for three of four generations to benefit from. I no longer know if that is feasible but it is somehow less important. What is important is the continued growth on the path that has been uniquely carved out for me. In its own way it will leave its own mark…the mark I had to leave and which was set out for me.

How do I explain this inner light of awareness that has come to me over the last year? To many it will seem delusional, strange and for others it might even fill with a fear that repels me from them. However more than ever I know that I am carrying a light that only I can carry and that light has a purpose. I might not know the full reach of this light in the darkness but I know it is given to me as as task to carry the light as far as I am allowed to carry it. I am not a prisoner of circumstances….even though I have to live within limits. I am a free spirit, that can not be contained even if physically constrained.

It is done. I wrote down the words that burned in my heart. I do not know if I gave adequate expression to my emotions. I am always lacking in my ability to pin down the emotion that comes with a moment of deep insight. I often fail to covey the radiance of being alive when suddenly you look back and see that you have passed a threshold. It will take time to consolidate all the feelings, emotions and thoughts that blazed through my being. I know I will have to read this little book once more for there is still much I must pull out and note down. It is a call for me to trust my intuition more and open myself up more to be led by the apparent synchronicities that happen by change and yet fills my life with essential meaning.

Every step we take in life is meaningful, every relationship significant, every moment precious.

I will attempt to blog more often. In all honesty the new format of Xanga is not inviting community participation. The old Xanga set up was by far better than the current one and Xanga has done nothing (that I could see) since they made the change from one platform to another. It is a pity that the original concept behind Xanga had been lost. It is not just Xanga! I had been looking around at other blogging sites and there is nothing really that offer the type of community building that Xanga did. Facebook offers many features these days but I have lost my account twice on Facebook and I am reluctant to put any content there due to a lack of persistance in that information. I do believe the features are there to again create a oommunity but it requires a new way of thinking. Blogging is far more than just throwing a bunch of words onto a screen. Blogging is a need of an expression to be hurt and to connect with people with similar interests. I have currently 11 themed blogs on WordPress. At least in WordPress’s reader you can click on your tag lines and see similar blogs which allows you to generate new connections and quickly see what else is written about your field of interest. The features is there but it seems Xanga does not have the wil or desire to exploit it into a proper business model.

I will not take my health for granted but continue to hone body, heart, mind and spirit towards maintaining optimal health. I strive to continually make a positive contribution in whatever role I play and touch each live that crosses mine positively. I strive not to neglect my duties but to reach beyond them towards higher goals. I will be honest to those people that put their trust in me. I will not allow the challenges I face to constrain me from making an impact on the world within which I live. I will strive towards stimulating my intelligence but also being sensitive to my intuition and mindful of my conscience. I will live a life of justice always seeking that which is right and I will question and test my actions in search for its just expression. I will not be a slave to the material world’s demands but will be inspired by the flame of the Creative Divine. I will seek with persistance, in hope, to find creative pathways to overcome my challenges and constraints. I will not measure myself only by what is achieved and accumulated but by the increase in my being and the vitality of my essence. I will remain authentically ME

Self:
- Reduce my total debt
- Remain financially viable
- Buy new clothes
Father:
- Assist my middle daughter to get access to the training and career of her choice in 2015
- Assist my son to continue to go to the school of his choice
- Invest some quality time with my eldest daugter
- Repair swimming pool
- Repair fire place
Mystic:
- Perform my duties as master of the Cape Town Pronaos efficiently and effectively
- Grow attendance of meetings to increase by 50%
- Be consistent in my weekly attunement with Cosmic Consciousness
- Focus on the psychic awakening and use of all my pshycic centres.
Story Teller:
- Participate in one Toastmaster competition
- Do two Toastmaster presentations visiting different clubs
- Speak at one international conference
Student:
- Write One PhD article for publication
- Write up my PhD theoretical text
Engineer:
- Implement Integration architecture at the Parliament of South Africa
- Implement Legislative drafting solution at the Parliament of South Africa
- Create more awareness for Business Intelligence in the Parliament of South Africa.
Athlete:
- Establish the habit of daily Tai Chi
- Learn the Cheng Man Chin Short form in completeness
Writer:
- Write a booklet on the Enneagram and its use
Artist:
- Paint four oil paintings
Networking
- Expand my network in the national legislative sector
- Expand my network in the enterprise architecture domain

I again did a reflection on year 2013 using the different houses of astrology. I know that there are different interpretations and schools of thought so I again gave my understanding of the meaning of each house.

My year revolved primarily around the following roles or archteypes that defines me:
- Father: My role as a father and family man
- Mystic: My role as a mystic and student of AMORC
- Student: My role as a student doing my PHD in Industrial engineering
- Engineer: My role as an Management information Managers at the Parliament of South Africa
- Warrior and Athlete: My role as a Tai Chi student.
- Story teller: My role as a Distinguished Toastmaster.

1st House – The self
The self, the physical body, and appearance; independently taking action

I maintained my body’s health as best as possible through the regular practice of Tai Chi. I did on average about 4 hours of Tai Chi per week in the Cheng Man Ching tradition. I changed my school where I did Tai Chi early in the year and I am happy with the change I have made. I did not had any major health issues to deal with and my heatlh is generally acceptable. I had taken two days of sick leave in totality during the year. I have aged which is evident from the grey hair that is starting to appear hear and there. My stomach is still physically my main source of concern when it comes to body image. I manage to keep it in check but it will call for continued vigilance. I can certainly improve my diet in the year to come. Although I dress neatly most of my clothing is dated since I have other finanial priorities as a parent that are more important than my personal preferences. I presented myself during the year with confidence in my leadership skills and had driven hard to achieve results of which some has evaded me.

2nd House – Material matters
Personal resources – material, mental, spiritual; security

Financially I lived more in a scarcity mentality than an abundance mentality. Although the salary I earn is very good in terms of the place I live, several factors beyond my control has diluted my funds and cash flow. The economy has slowly impoveriched me as well as prices of basic commodities like petrol and electricity continues to increase. I can not put rich behind my name as one of my outstanding qualities. I had a small car accident during the latter part of the year but could at least manage to get the car fully repaired. My wife’s car finally gave notice that it is beyond a maintainable state and it had to be replaced. Although it has not impacted much on 2013 it will put some additional stress on the future. I incurred additional short term debt which is really a tragedy because it was my aim to stay out of debt in totality. However if I combine long term debt and short term debt against assets I do think my financial balance sheet has improved somewhat during the year. There are some critical maintenance tasks I need to undertake in my house that I could not address in 2013 which will remain a sore eye for me. Both are luxuries – one being my swimming pool that needs a total rebuild and the other is my fire place for the winter that needs to be replaced. Financially I do not see myself getting any promotion or any sudden new income stream in 2014 so financial resources will continue to demand careful budgeting and planning.

Mentally I continued with my PhD in Industrial Engineering but my progress was far too slow. I will have to make a big effort in 2014 to get my PhD on a good track to be finalised in the end of 2015. I need to set aside better time management to accomplish movement in this sphere of my life. My university fees were paid by my work which did not put me under pressure. The biggest resource constraint is time. I have consciously not been as much involved with Toastmasters international as I would have liked to be. I participated in one competition and won the competition which was a boost to my ego. I hope that I can resume again a more active role in toastmasters in 2015.

Spiritually this was a year of growth for me and deepening. As master of the affiliated body of my mystical fraternity I had to confront myself with my own spiritual understanding. The regular engagement with other members of the fraternity lead to growth within me that I could not have found on my own. The fraternity gave me all the resources and support to assist me to play this role at the best of my ability. The previous master, regional monitor and fellow officers assisted me a lot to grow in my role. My sense of self have increased and I am confident in the teachings I am propagating and investigating. I will be continuing in this role throughout 2014. One can fulfill the role only for two years so one year is gone and I have the opportunity of serving one more year before handing over to somebody else.

Security wise we had a good year with no material losses or experiences of violence against me or my family. Crime statistics in South Africa has increased but in my suburb the crime seems to be uder control.

In terms of my Work I sometimes lacked the support I needed to progress in my aims. Some areas moved really fast and others was very restrictive. But if I look back at what my potential is and the need then I still can not be satisfied with the resources that was made available to me to achieve my goals in 2013.

3rd House – Knowledge and learning
Information coming from, and into, familiar areas such as siblings or areas considered as local.

My PhD obviously took most of my learning emphasis. My PhD is focused on Information management with a specific emphasis of information as a critical resource in the democraic process of a legislator in a democratic country. I read many articles on interoperability, enteprise architecture etc.

I completed during the year a course in TOGAF which is a standard for enteprise engineering which is good for me to have completed. I attended tHe Oracle User Group of South Africa’s conference which gave me a deeper insight into the aims and objetives of Oracle South Africa.

Within my role as master in my philosophical fraterity I have read a lot about the Rosicrucian philosophy and Alchemy. I continued with my studies of the teachings of AMORC the Rosicrucian order.

4th House – Development heritage
– the physical abode, family, the end of an issue

My own house was a place of relative peace. Both my son and daughter that are still at school did extremely well and brought home fantastic results. They work by their own accord and I am greateful to be their father. My son finished his first year in secondary school and seemed to cope well being at boarding school. He and my daughter excelled in art. During the latter part of 2013 it seems as if my children matured more an there were less sybling rivalry and more cooperation. My eldest daughter with ADD and who did not finish school succeeded in maintaining her job as a assistant at school with only one drama for the year.

5th House – Centrifugally and leadership
- creative recreation and its results, children, lovers and artistic pursuit.

My Afrikaans presentation for a competition about a Mouse in the house was successful sine I won the competition.

I manage to finish three oil paintings during the year both inspired by the Most Holy Trinosophia written by St Germain and which is an Alchemically based treaty of the triune path of wisdom. One painting was that of a monk, the other of a prisoner and the other of a chamber of initiation.

I lead Parliament’s chess team to the National Legislative games and we got a third price at the tournament.

At work in my role as manager of the business analysts and the information architect, we achieved the objectives that we set ourselves despite loosing two business analysts. There is definitely room for improvement in my management style in terms of motivating the Business Analysts and coordinating their work to contribute more effectively to the institutional goals and objectives.

I was requested to attend some key strategic planning sessions for the 5th term of Parliament. Both the Support services branch strategic meeting and later the overall meeting where the combined leadership met to discuss the outcomes of the different branches’ strategic planning meetings. At the first I made a good input but at the second I was less impactful with my contribution.

I performed the role of Chief Judge at a show case event of the Toastmaster’s Youth Leadership.

As the Chair person of the Tai Chi Club I secured for the first time that the club got official sports clothes to practise with.

As master of our affiliated body I organised a successful day of presentations around the topic of Levels of human consciousness with the focus being on Science, Art, Philosophy and Spirituality. Eight speakers spoke and the event was attended by more than 30 people.

6th House – Analyzing and serving
- the daily domestic routine, health and diet; breaking habit patterns; duty and service.

I maintain a healthy life style in terms of doing Tai Chi, proper sleeping habits and avoiding sugar in my drinks. Generally I eat a healthy diet but there is room for improvement by avoiding take away food every now and then. I ate more salads due to a Food market that opened up close to where I work.

My service was through the vehicle of my AMORC affiliation.

7th House – Marriage and cooperation
- Personal relationships, business partnerships and legal issues

I extended my relationships within my work environment during the year and worked well with my fellow workers. The nature of my work requires a lot of cooperation. There are several places where I had excellent cooperation and where we worked well together.

My marriage was stable and beneficial. I work well with my wife as a team on domestic issues and especially in raising our children. My wife allows me a lot of space to explore different philosophical avenues.

8th House – Death and transmutation
- Transformation, beginning or ending, death and birth, money

My father went through transition in August 2013 which was a big loss for me. I focused on the values that made his life a worthy life. His work ethic, tenacity, love for life and love for my mother will continue to be an inspiration for me in my life. I missed my father since he has left us but when I look at him I do so with gratefullness for that which he gave me through his example in my life. The time was a real challenge for my mother. She still cries about every time I have contact with her.

The death of Nelson Mandela had a profound impact on the world, South Africa and on me as a South African.

I aquired two rats as pets for the first time in my life. It changed my view of rats considerably. I have never known that rats are such intelligent creatures. I got bitten for the first time by a female rat who had babies while I was looking for pet rats. I bought two males which turned out to be a male and a female and I became the proud owner of 11 new baby rats on 31 december 2013. To my shock and horror since I did not at all suspect the one rat to be a female rat.

I started with a new Tai Chi School in the beginning of the year. I started as chairperson of the Tai Chi club at the Parliament of South Africa. I started as master of a Philosophical fraternity of which I had been a member since 2005.

I introduced to Parliament the product Metasonic as a new method for automating processes. I deployed a new demo of the Oracle business intelligence suite to demonstrate business intelligence capabilities.

9th House – Spiritual work.
- travel and that which is alien; study and places of education ; books and publishing.

Spiritually my emphasis has shifted to the development of my pshycic body and awakening my psychic centres based on the Rosicrucian teaching of vowels sounds, the Law of the Triangle and different methods of breathing. I also realised the value and importance of group work where the group strives towards being an ideal society that live a common set of values.

I made an intensive study of the Most Holy Trinosophia which inspired much growth in me.

10th House – Career
- Social status, career, and how the community classifies you, the path with a heart, — the life activity which brings personal fulfilment.

I developed a system for measuring and improving information management maturity within an institution. In terms of this model the Maturity of information mangement of the Parliament of South Africa improved with almost 10% during the year. I had not been able to implement the Business Intelligence system I believe is needed in the Parliament of South Africa to improve performance management and reporting. Progress had been made towards the implementation of an integration architecture that will integrate information across the different sytems used. I had been intimately involved with two critical business cases which had been driven through the system that will impact on the operation of the institution namely a system to manage Expense claims of Members of Parliament and a Legislative drafting solution. I managed to improve the quality of our Knowledge repository for our enterprise architecture.

The biggest boost for the year was winning the iCMG Enterprise Architecture awared 2013 for Transformation and Planning. I submitted a nomination in the beginning of the year describing the manner in which we developed and executed the 2009-2014 ICT strategy in Parliament. I was teh lead architect for this project. We were under the lsit of finalists in two additional categories. Getting global recognition for the work done was really a great boost to my ego and gave me added confidence in the work I am doing.

11th House – Relations and social awareness.
– groups, friends and counseling
I am still active in supporting the plight of a group of Afrikaner Boere that strives towards self determination. I firmly believe that the playing field is not equal as long as the goverment employs racial laws and policies like affirmative action, black economic empowerment, ground redistribution and University and sport quotas to redress inequalities. I do think these things can be addressed along non racial lines. With the coming national elections in 2013 I am throwing my weight behind the Freedom Front Plus a minority party with about 0.25% of the number of votes cast. They have changed tact and hope to work closely with other minority parties to achieve certain goals. As the only party fully focused on the protection of minority rights they get my support irrespective whether they get votes or not.

I made some friends during the year but my one friend remains the bastion of defining friendship for me. Since we live far from each other we see each other only about once or twice a year. However I have to define him as a true friend who remaind a friend through the last 15 years. Besides him I met several aquantances and people and develop many good relationships but I am not a person who has many friends. I have one online friendship that truly had been a good friendship where we exchanged many ideas and thoughts. My friendships grew mostly throug my affiliation with AMORC and my practtice of Tai Chi.

One of the highlights of my year was attending an art exhibition of one of my Friends who is a professional artist.

The online Afrikaans group I established two years ago for general conversation in Afrikaans had been going strongly due to an excellent group of administrators that run the group for me. My main task is to ensure everybody keeps to the main rules of the group. The group now has 2196 members and is still expanding. I am still an administrator for a Tarot related group on Facebook as well with 2582 members. This group often help me to keep my interest in the Tarot active and alive.

I attended the first Philosophical Dinner meeting held in South Africa in Cape Town.

I attended the Chinese new year function as well as the end of year function of the Tai Chi School. In the latter I partcipated in a demonstration that we did during the end of year function, demonstrating the ten essences of Tai chi as well as the first sequences of the Chang Man Ching short form.

12th House – Sacrifice/Abstract
- Alone, that which is hidden; illness, intuition and psyche.

This category will remain hidden and not written about.