June 19, 2012
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My weakness
Weakness
Self reflection
Being in bed most of the day gave me some time to ponder life. I am again fully aware of how vulnerable we are. Since I was feeling my own weakness I decided to think a bit about my #weaknesses.
- Where do I feel the weakest?
I lack prudence – the ability to express practical wisdom by differentiating between virtue and vice. My life philosophy is one of relativism and constructivism. It basically means that my moral compass does not have a fixed reference point and that all things are relative and/or situational. Where you have people who is black and white with hard borders…my world is malleable, it consists of many greys and colours in between. I live by a philosophy of dyadic resonance…which means I do not remain fixed at a point of polarity but in all things I seek to live the full continuum of experiences. This is my dark side…the dark elf. I will be consistent and dependable for a long time and then one day something happens and everything falls apart. Not because I do so deliberately but because there comes a time when I just lack the discernment.
– Where would I like #strength?
I need to be clearer in my communication and expressing my intent. Often, due to my relativism, I might seem as if I cannot make up my mind or that I am inconsistent in living my values. This creates confusion and often a lack of trust with people that engage with me. The strength needed is possible the strength to live who I am and not who others want me to be.
– Where do I lack #patience?
I am results oriented. I bend the rules to achieve what I think is needed to be done. I rattle the cage, upset people or am brutally honest when needed while often just sitting back and waiting would have achieved the same result, a bit later. I lack tact when I have put my nose to achieve something. I get impatient when I do not achieve what I set out to achieve. I always have back up plans. When one path closes I move onto another … sometimes even when the other path might not be the best strategy to follow…simply because on that path there is movement. The end result often being that I take on more than what I can handle, because with more obligations I have more space to progress. My life seldom slow down, there is always time to do more. I want to live life to its fullest in every moment I do not have the patience to wait for things to happen. They often say patience is a virtue and that all good things comes with time. I understand that but seldom abide by it.
– Where do I feel this in myself?
I feel it in the many plans I have…the many responsibilities. There are always layers of meaning. I might write something and there is duplicity in meaning for in my writing people read what they want to read rather what I am writing. I am a pleaser and often present to people the side of me they want to see. This is mostly not a true reflection of who I am. I am likable because I expose to others that which they want to see. Most of the time, I am wearing a mask and beneath the mask is another mask…and if you start delayering the masks there is so many that by the time you get to the real face, you will be confused whether that is not also a mask.
Have you ever taken the time to ponder your weakness? What is your greatest weakness? Is it difficult to write about it?
Comments (3)
As a human being I have many weaknesses. But, over the years I have learned to dominate them. Weaknesses are fears and when you face your fears you overcome your weaknesses and become stronger. I meditate every night and by intoning the lost word I have learned to become one with the universe. This helps me to face myself and it rejuvenates me and to become a better recreated entity of myself. Stronger, less weaker and absent of fear.
Very honest and introspective. My biggest weakness is that I don’t put into action things that I need to do. There are changes I should be making in my life, and I don’t follow through as I should. And I let my emotions rule too easily. I think what catstemplar said is true, I try to meditate (not quite as often as I should) in order to leave fear behind and become stronger. Once we give in to fear, it’s too easy to lose hold of discernment. Tiredness also does the same; I am useless when I am tired and let negative thoughts take over when I am tired. So by taking care of myself better, I will overcome my weaknesses.
That is what I need to do… ponder my weaknesses. It is a must for discovering who I really am. Yep… I’m still pondering that too. Thank you for bringing this to the forefront.